My dog died and I miss her everyday

I lost my dog Cece 2 months ago, and it has been very, very though. That's why I have been MIA for a month. Her vet said she died of intoxication but my neighbor, who's also a vet, said that she had distemper. So many symptoms of distemper manifested so I believe my neighbor's right. I was so mad when she died because we kept coming back to the vet, every week, to give Cece all that she needs, and they couldn't treat her. I was lost, and in shock when she passed away because I wasn't prepared. I don't think I'd ever be ready to let her go so for it to happen that fast was horrible. I was there with her in the hospital until her last breath. The doctor said she was still fighting, but her body gave up, which made it very painful because she still wanted to live. I kept telling her to go and rest, and I'll be okay... I didn't want to leave her side. I hugged her so tight and I felt her heartbeat fade slowly; it was heart breaking. I couldn't breathe, and it felt as if I've died too. She brought me so much joy and love, and she took a part of my soul with her.

I've been depressed since that day, and I'm trying to move on, but it's been very difficult. I cry everyday because I miss her terribly. I thought I could keep her forever, and I wanted to, unfortunately I could only have her for such a short time. I dreamt about her one night... It felt so real... I was in my room sitting on my bed, then she walked in slowly and jumped at me. She was so happy and so alive. I hugged her so tight I thought it was real. I couldn't explain how I felt when I woke up. I cried, but I was happy because I know she's in a better place now. I thank God that He allowed me to see Cece again. 

Cece is a Golden Labrador, and the sweetest and most loving dog I have ever known. I nicknamed her "Wonder Dog" (from Wonder Woman), because she has a pure heart. She would cry whenever she hears a dog in distress. She'd howl, look at me, and make a sound as if talking to me asking me to let her go outside to save the dog :). When I tell her no, she'd look at me with her cute eyes, stay in one corner and continue crying. It's really funny. She is also very kind. I have 3 dogs, including her, and each have their own food tray, and she would let the other dogs eat her food. She would give whatever food she has just to see the other dogs happy. BUT she's silly because she wouldn't share her toy :). She would play with it in front of the other dogs, tease them to take it, and when they do, she would get mad. She's younger but bigger, so they don't stand a chance when she strikes them. She's a very smart dog! Training her was easy and quick. She would sit and jump in command. When we serve her food, she wouldn't eat it, even if it's right in front of her, until we tell her to do so. She's brave too. Cece is not afraid of any dog even if it's bigger than her. She doesn't fight them, but she doesn't run away either. She'd just smell the dog, lie down, and be charming. Last but definitely not the least, she's the sweetest and most loving. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't jump at me to hug and kiss me. When she sees me cry, she would come to me and place her head on my lap and make me feel loved. When I'm sick, she'd jump into my bed, greet me with a kiss, and do cute things to make me smile. Just thinking about all these breaks my heart, but I'm also happy that she's not sick and in pain anymore. I'm sure wherever she is now, she has plenty of food and toys to play with. Rest in peace Cece. I love you very much... forever... I'll see you again some day...